Business Signs

Actual Business Signs

In a fire department waiting area "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity ward door "Push, Push, Push."
On a front door "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
At an optometrist's office "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a scientist's door "Gone Fission"
In a taxidermist's window "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's window "Time wounds all heels."
In another butcher's window "Pleased to meat you."
At a used car lot "Second-hand cars in first crash condition."
On a fence "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership "The best way to get back on your feet: Miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Outside a Hotel "Help Wanted. We need inn-experienced people."
On a desk in a reception room "We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a music teacher's door "Out Chopin."
On the door of a computer store "Out for a quick byte."
In a restaurant window "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
On the door of a music library "Bach in a minuet."
In the front yard of a funeral home "Drive carefully. We can wait."
In a counselor's office "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."