
Working for Corporate America


You know you work in Corporate America if:
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You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
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Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
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Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
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The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
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When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
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You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
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You learn about your layoff on CNN.
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Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
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You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
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Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
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You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
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It's dark when you drive to and from work.
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Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
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"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
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You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
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Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
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Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
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Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
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Art involves a white board.
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You're already late on the assignment you just got.
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When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
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You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
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Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
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Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
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Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
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Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
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Change is the norm.
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Nepotism is encouraged.
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The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
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You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
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You read this entire list and understood it.

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