GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, isn't it nice that wrinkles don't hurt.
3. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
4. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
5. The best way to keep kids at home is to create a pleasant atmosphere... and let the air out of their tires.
6. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
7. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
8. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
9. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
10. As you get older, your mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
11. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

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