
Things that make you go Hmmm...


- 1. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
- 2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- 3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
- 4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
- 5. How do a fool and his money GET together?
- 6. How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
- 7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
- 8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
- 9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
- 10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
- 11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- 12. If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter?
- 13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
- 14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- 15. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
- 16. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
- 17. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- 18. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- 19. What year did Jesus think it was?
- 20. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
- 21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- 22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- 23. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
- 24. After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
- 25. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
- 26. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
- 27. How come there aren't B batteries?
- 28. If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
- 29. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
- 30. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
- 31. Is a metaphor like a simile?
- 32. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- 33. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
- 34. How is it possible to have a civil war?
- 35. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- 36. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- 37. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
- 38. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
- 39. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
- 40. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
- 41. Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
- 42. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
- 43. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
- 44. How can there be self-help "groups"?
- 47. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- 45. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
- 46. How do you throw away a garbage can?
- 47. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
- 48. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- 49. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
- 50. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
- 51. If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?
- 52. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- 53. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
- 54. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- 55. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
- 56. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
- 57. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
- 58. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
- 59. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
- 60. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
- 61. How do you remove a club soda stain?
- 62. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
- 63. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- 64. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- 65. If a Fly didn't have wings, would we have to call him a Walk?
- 66. If a Turtle lost his shell, would he be Homeless or Naked?
- 67. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- 68. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
- 69. Is it just a coincidence that "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts"?
- 70. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
- 71. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- 72. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
- 73. Why is it, when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open, it it's not a door?
- 74. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
- 75. Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
- 76. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to 'cure' it?
- 77. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
- 78. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
- 79. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
- 80. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- 81. If all those phychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
- 82. Do married people really live longer that non-married people, or does it just seem longer?
- 83. Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
- 84. War doesn't determine who's right. Just who's left.

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