YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK IF......

• The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
• You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
• You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
• You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
• Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
• You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
• Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,"Hey, y'all watch this"
• You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
• You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
• Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
• You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
• You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
• You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
• You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
• The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
• You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
• One of your kids was born on a pool table.
• You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
• Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
• You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
• Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
• Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

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